


The Itch Under Your Skin

by oliviawrites (LauraLittlemiss)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, Genderfluid, M/M, figuring ur self out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 16:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11559291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauraLittlemiss/pseuds/oliviawrites
Summary: Dan just couldn't get this itch out from underneath his skin.Or the one where Dan is gender fluid and didn't figure it out until he is older.





	1. Chapter 1

Well, this was by far the most discouraged he had felt. His hair was being weird, his clothes hugged his body in unflattering ways. His face just looked a little off. His brain felt a little off too.

Dan was trying to cope with not feeling himself. It was just one of those days were everything felt wrong about him and his skin felt like it didn't fit right on his body. Everything he would do to try to fix how he felt - putting on his favorite outfit, watching his favorite show, eating some good food - would refuse to help how he felt. It was aggravating and felt like being trapped in his own skin. Like a constant itch under his skin that wouldn't go away no matter how hard he scratched.

This feeling would come around about twice a week. It was coming more and more often and Dan was only getting more and more frustrated. He refused to tell Phil - his partner and roommate. It wasn't too hard to hide. Dan would just claim that he had a headache or he was tired. It was working for now, but he was getting more worried the more often it happened. He didn't feel sick, he just felt weird. And off. And tired. And sluggish. A kind of depressed that would go away the next day or later in the day.

He figured he should google it or something, maybe watch a YouTube video on different types of depression. Instead he just put on a shirt, not wanting to look at his chest, and crawled back under his covers, bringing the blanket past his nose. It felt like a good day to hide away from the world and have Phil bring him breakfast in bed. Maybe some cuddling would fix the problem with his brain.

Dan groaned. He hated feeling like this, if that wasn't already painfully clear. He heard a knock and muttered a muffled "Come in," waiting for Phil to open the door and inquire about him. Usually, they woke up around the same time and had breakfast together. As if sensing that he day would be shitty, his body let him oversleep and miss a probably tasty breakfast with Phil.

As expected, Phil strode over to the bed and sat down on the edge, a few inches away from where Dan's legs were curled close to his stomach. Phil looked him up and down, taking in how disheveled he looked. Phil's face turned pitying as he realized Dan was having another off day.

"You know, we could go to the doctor or something. Your head shouldn't be hurting you this much." Phil said, reaching down to run his hand through Dan's hair. Dan hummed in response, letting his eyes flutter shut. He debated telling Phil the truth, deciding it would probably be for the best.

"About that, Phil," Dan opened his eyes, locking eyes with Phil. "I haven't really had headaches. I mean, I do have them sometimes but I just feel weird. Like my body isn't right or something. All my clothes look wrong on me and my body isn't like it's supposed to be." Dan started to cry a little out of frustration. Phil looked puzzled but didn't stop playing with his hair.

"Dan, it's alright, don't worry," Phil soothed. "You just might be going through a bad day."

"But it isn't just today," Dan whined. "It's once or twice a week and I don't know how to make it go away." Phil didn't respond, he instead continued to play with Dan's hair and think.

"Have you ever thought that you might not be a guy?"

Dan's eyes widened. "What?" He asked.

"I'm not saying you're not a boy," Phil reassured. "What you're saying sounds a lot like what one of my friends, who is non-binary, said. They said that before they realized that they are non-binary it was really hard some days. It's called gender-dysphoria."

Dan bit his lip, thinking it over. It sounded possible. He hated how his chest looked right now and his shirts high-lighted how flat it was. He wasn't in love with how big his feet were or how tall he was. He wished his hair was longer.

"Then how come I only feel like this half the time?" Dan asked, trying to figure out

Phil shrugged. "Maybe you're gender-fluid? Some days your more feminine and other days more masculine?"

"Is that okay?" Dan questioned, all these past months, years, of his life clicking together and making more sense than ever. It was very over-whelming.

Phil laughed slightly before leaning over Dan and squashing him into a hug. "It is more than alright," he whispered. Dan hugged back, thankful for such a wonderful person as Phil in his - their, her? - life.


	2. Trying Things On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sequel.

Dan twirled in her dress, looking at herself in the mirror. This was her first time even trying on a dress. She had bought the dress a few days ago but hadn't worn it. She was finally feeling girly, and boy was she happy! Her hair had grown out slightly since she realized her true gender identity. It was still short in the back but her fringe had grown to a bit past her cheekbone, framing her face and making it softer. The curls helped her appear more feminine. Or, on some days, like a really soft boy. Which she also liked.

She glanced in the mirror again, really studying the dress. It was kind of fitted at the top, getting more and more flow-y as the dress went on. Was that a word? The dress went down to past her knees, and it even had pockets! It was a spaghetti strap dress, meaning it showed off her shoulders and collarbone very well. It was pitch black. She may be a girl for right now but she still had an aesthetic to commit to.

She was starting to learn how to do her make-up, just learning the very basics at this moment. Her face currently had blush and foundation, with the smallest bit of contouring. It was really tricky and she didn't like to fuck up her face everyday just to try to get something right. Dan figured she would get the hang of it eventually.

Dan had decided to keep her name - it suits her at all times. Sometimes Phil would call her Dani, not the annoying Danny, but Dani. It was cute and she liked when he would casually slip it into normal conversations.

Speaking of Phil, he was probably waiting on her. They were filming a gaming channel. Even though she hadn't officially come out they had figured it would be okay. Sure, the dress was slightly flashy for the first time ever going on camera knowing she was a girl, but she was always quite the dramatic.

She floated up the stairs, exceedingly graceful. Again, she was extra, especially when she was a girl.

"Ah, Dan! There you are," Phil said from the chair. He was setting up the camera, probably putting the finishing touches. He turned to look at her properly, smiling when he saw what she was wearing. "And gorgeous as always."

"You've been dating me for like six years, you don't have to keep up with the flattery," She said, taking a seat. "We're supposed to be in the boring married state of our relationship." Phil rolled his eyes, taking a seat next to her.

"I don't think we'll ever get to the boring state of our relationship." Phil said, being honest.

"Wanna bet?" Dan said, laughing. "But I love you, too." Phil smiled before turning on the camera.

"Hello Dan and Phil shift buttons!" He said.

"Why shift buttons?" Dan said, laughing slightly. Phil shrugged.

"Now, I feel like we should address the elephant, or very tall human, in the world."

Dan rolled her eyes at the lame joke Phil had made before pointing to herself. "Why, Phil, are you talking about me? You're not the only tall person in this room."

"Yes, I was talking about you," Phil admitted. "Would you like to talk?"

Dan took a breath, knowing that they could edit this or not even upload it gave her some peace of mind. "I'm wearing a dress! And make-up!" She exclaimed, doing jazz hands. "This is just a thing I do now-a-days."

Phil looked at her, urging her on. They hadn't actually discussed how much she wanted to share, but she figured she might as well tell. "And my pronouns for today are she and her," She took another deep breath. "I'm gender-fluid, and I'm the happiest I've been in a really long time."


End file.
